People vomit for various reasons.
Sometimes they vomit because they have food poisoning
Sometimes they vomit because they eat too much.
… … … or too little …
Sometimes they shove their fingers down their throats to bring the vomit up intentionally.
But sometimes, every once in a while, they vomit because they are scared.
I don’t actually know this, but it feels like it must be true.
I believe May was the first time I ever saw someone vomit out of fear.
Deep underground, in Kyiv’s Palats Ukraina Metro Station, there was a boy sitting next to his mother on the cold tile floor. He was shivering. His eyes were very wide. He had light hair. He had a sharp, angular face. It wasn’t as soft as it should have been for a boy his age. His eyes were a pale blue; the skin around them was a purple blue. I bet he was six or seven.
It was 3 AM. The boy and his mother were already in the station when I arrived. I took a spot on the floor a few yards from them. I came down, as I had the previous night and the night before that, to shelter from the barrage of Russian missiles and drones. I came down because the blasts were loud, and I was scared. They were too, clearly. Everyone was. Nobody forces you down the escalators.
Her right hand moved in a circular motion against his back. Her left was holding his. I looked at the boy, and our gazes met. His eyes were tired, and they were fearful… like those of a small bird trapped within a snake's cold, hypnotic gaze.
He seemed to know that whatever was going on above ground would not be over anytime soon.
Of course, he was too young to understand exactly what was going on up there … …. …
That’s what we’re supposed to say, right? Then again, who is old enough? Mature enough? Enlightened enough?
The boy’s eyes weren’t so different from mine.
His lips quivered. And then, he lurched forward, and it all came out. It was remarkably clear. Some of it dribbled down his chin onto his shirt. Most of it formed a puddle between his legs.
I experienced many firsts in May.
I’ll remember the eyes of the vomiting boy for as long as I live.